Between Love and Respect

By: Adewale John

I have heard a whole lot on these subjects and I think we should shed a little light on it. People of different ages and times have used and are using the words but a handful of them have used it wrongly and have a deep misconception about these subjects. 

To 'Like' is to regard with favour; have a kindly or friendly feeling for (a person, group, etc.); find attractive. When you consider this simple definition there's something very important I need you to pay attention to, it's something that many people often ignore but go along away in any relationships of life. It's what differentiates a subject to its master, a pastor to his congregation a president to the citizen. 

To regard is to care or have concern for someone or something; it's a feeling of respect and admiration for someone or something. Please pay attention to a very close synonym to regard used in the definition above.

Respect is an act of having a particular way of looking at something or someone. In other words, it includes attention and consideration; a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc. A feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way. 

When you hold someone with high esteem/regard, caring for such person becomes an out flow of the care and attention (respect) you have for the person. You'll seek to understand the person with adequate knowledge birthed in deep attention. You want to know the do's and don’ts of the fellow, you don't want to hurt the person or have the person in a bad mood. 

Show me a person, who never lied to his /her partner, I'll tell you a person who doesn't care about the feelings of his/her partner. Most bluntness is product of disrespect, disregard and nonchalance.  Am not saying one should be falsehood to one's partner, but I'm saying it's not possible you respect some and you have never lied to the person. Relationship shouldn't be built on falsehood, yet lies can't be found wanting in a real and sincere relationship. Be honest with yourself, that person you claim you 'love' (should be replace with like) haven't you told him/ her a lie in the past? You did that because you don't want to lose the person, and if the necessary lies has brought you this far, I bet you will continue, Lol. Anyway what I'm saying is it's almost impossible to like someone and not have told the person some lies at times. 
Like has the following base line: attention, consideration, regard, respect, understanding, care and esteem. 

Love on the other hand is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. Here the focus is affection and emotions are the focus, having a tender or a soft attachment to something or someone when you feel incomplete without seeing someone, or not being around a person, you are in the boat of affection/love.

Emotion is a very complex state of feeling. If you have ever done things without prior thought whatsoever, you are under the claws of emotions. This is the angle where people say, 'love is blind' because it makes you do things unprepared for, in fact it could cost a price of a life time, you would have done things before you realize or even know the depth of what you have done. You must have heard of people who fell sick having being threatened by there so call spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend for a break up, such individual is suffering from emotions/love. Tell me someone you get nervous about when you hear his/her name, someone who’s name or sight gives you a rapid heartbeat, get you sweating profusely, and I’ll show you someone you’re in love with. 

To be continued...